Senior Moments with Shirley and Phil

Bubby’s On a Budget

Dear Shirley and Phil,
I am not an old person, though you probably hear this from everyone who writes! However, I am a grandmother. I have two beautiful grandchildren in St. Louis who are 8 and 10 years old. My dilemma is that I live on a limited income. I am divorced, and work, but don’t have much “expendable income” to spend.  I love to be with my grandkids, more than anything in the world, but I feel that I can’t afford to do much with them. Eating out and shopping, or going to places like Six Flags, are often beyond my means, or are only affordable once in a while. What can I do? Are there any grandma bailout programs? 

Signed,
Bubby on a Budget



Dear Bubby,
Don’t despair-- if you have the will, there is a way.  Your grandkids are lucky you’re nearby, and that you want to be with them. And you are equally fortunate. Don’t let a limited income stand in the way of being with these very important people, and don’t assume that they will want to be with you only if it involves lots of spending.  It may sound trite, but your time and attention are worth more than anything. Special days with grandma are what they will remember. 

Here are some ideas you might consider:

• Give them a choice of possible things to do together, just two or three options that are all acceptable to you. 
  
  
• Think about unique places that are free like visiting different playgrounds around town. You’ll be surprised how many there are, and how varied. Keep a list of playgrounds with the kids, and what each liked most about that particular playground. 
  
  
• Bake cookies, whip up some pancakes, or decorate cupcakes. Kids will love the chance to help in the kitchen, especially if they are allowed to make a bit of a mess. That’s the advantage of grand parenting over parenting--you can relax, and enjoy a little mess too.
  
  
• Create an art project. There are lots of low cost ways to do this and it can be a way of “recycling” at the same time.  What can they make out of “found objects,”  newspaper, plastic milk jugs, or old magazines?  Teach them how to use a needle and thread (now there is a novelty!)  Try to introduce your grandchildren to some fun without screens (as in TV, computer, cell phone).
  
  
• Nature is abundant with possibilities. Take a nature walk and pick up leaves, photograph beautiful flowers, or draw pictures of weird bugs. Look for butterflies, imitate bird chirps, then try to find the name of the birds you see by researching on the Internet when you get home.
  
  
• Introduce them to “old fashioned stuff” like drawing with chalk on the sidewalk, blowing bubbles, flying kites, playing jacks, hopscotch, jumping rope. Try some board games like checkers or dominos, card games like “old maid”, “go fish”, “war”. And how about working on jigsaw puzzles with them.
  
  
• Visit the public library together. This is something kids rarely get to do with grandmothers. Explore the children’s section, find out if there is storytelling program, check out a movie or music CD. Create a scavenger hunt with clues to objects that they must find around the library.
  
  
• Just sit and read to them. Join the PJ Library Program where parents or grandparents of kids through 7 years of age may sign up to receive a free book or CD of Jewish content each month for a year. Visit www.jewishinstlouis.org/page.aspx?id=183866 or www.pjlibrary.org 

These are some sample ideas of how you can spend quality time with the children, without spending lots of cash.  Creativity is the key. Soon you’ll go from “Budget Bubby” to “Greatest Grandma”.

Love,
Shirley


Dear Bubbala,
If you still have any energy left after reading Shirley’s suggestions, think about “Googling” for more ideas. I put in this sequence of words: free or low cost things to do with kids in St. Louis, Missouri. You wouldn’t believe how many options there are.

Don’t forget that the main goal of being with your little “gems” is to listen to them, understand who they are, and give of yourself.  Your total interest in them as people will really go a long way toward strengthening a bond.  I like to think about times with my grandkids (of any age) as “creating memories.” How will this afternoon be remembered by my grandchildren after I am gone? What will I be leaving as my legacy? Am I teaching them about life through my interactions with them? I know it’s a serious approach, but I find that thinking this way helps me really focus on the moment, having fun, laughing, and giving my undivided attention. And even if they may not recall many of these times, you will have the pleasure of remembering some delightful moments yourself.

Keep Your Chin Up,
Phil

Florence Schachter, MSW has over twenty years of experience working with older adults and their families. Along with Social Service Coordinator Lara Burch, MSW, Ms. Schachter provides support, resources, and professional guidance to older adults facing  the challenges of aging in areas such as interpersonal relationships, navigating the healthcare system, and making informed decisions.